Ask The Club: August ’18
Welcome to Ask The Club!
Every month I select a couple of questions asked by readers and answer them right here so that we can all learn together. An educational mood?!
It’s like Agony Aunt.
Or Stuff You’re Too Embarrassed To Ask Your Mum.
Or, I’ve Already Tried Googling It And You’re My Last Resort.
“Okay I’ve been playing hot-and-cold with a guy that I’ve been seeing and I don’t know why. It’s the exact kind of behaviour that we call men out for all the time so I don’t know why I’m doing it? Help!” – Jo
This is happening for one of two reasons: either you’re playing him hot-and-cold because you’ve seen a red flag (you’ve identified problematic behaviour and can foresee how this might end so by playing him hot-and-cold there’s only a fifty percent chance you’ll get hurt). Or you’re doing it because you’ve been treated this way in the past and you’re projecting your resentment onto him. Make sense? It’s kind of like how people who have been cheated on often go on to cheat on their future partners.
My advice would be to figure out which camp you fall into, the first or the second, and then decide if that’s where you want to stay. If you think the guy has trust issues, call him out on it! But if you’re the one with trust issues and you’re punishing him for your own insecurities, you need to acknowledge that and then work to move through it. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
“Can you tell me more about gut health? Where do I start?” – Sally
I first became interested in gut health when I realised I had an intolerance to gluten, and more specifically that when I consumed gluten it made me feel sad. Like low mood, down in the dumps, s-a-d. I then became even more fascinated by it a few years ago when I started reading into the science behind how the things we eat impact our mood, body and skin. The first thing to understand is that no part of the body exists in a vacuum – everything is connected. Everything. Case in point, your skin and gut have similar jobs: they are required to manage what comes into the body from the outside, and then communicate that information back to the nervous system, immune system and endocrine system. So it makes sense that skin health and gut health are linked. In traditional Chinese medicine as well as Ayurveda, techniques such as face mapping are used to analyse skin problems in relation to gut issues, indigestion and intolerances. Basically, if you’re lactose intolerant but you’re still consuming milk and cheese, or if you have like Leaky Gut Syndrome but refuse to address it, your body won’t be properly absorbing the vitamins and minerals from the food you eat and it will be impossible for your skin to heal. You can read more about how to heal your gut here.
“Now that everyone is over-sharing their lives on Instagram and filtering them to look perfect, I find myself with extremely low self-esteem. I love using Instagram but sometimes it makes me feel shit about my appearance and my accomplishments, how do I navigate this? Any practical advice?” – Lucy
The first thing to remember is: rising tides raise all ships. That is to say; when one young, intelligent, hard-working woman succeeds, all young, intelligent, hard-working women succeed. Get good at celebrating the achievements of others and you’ll start to experience more abundance in your own life. On a more practical level, something I take really seriously is how many people I’m following on Instagram and what kind of people am I am following. It serves me no purpose to be following 800 Realisation Par models. You know the ones I’m talking about. I’d die. So once a month I scroll through the list of people I’m following and do a cut-throat-cull of anyone that makes me feel worse about my self. It’s a selfish task that has nothing to do with them and everything to do with the narrative I tell myself. Which is something I’m working on.
In summary, know that the glory of other women is your glory for the taking so take it! And when in doubt, cut them out (on Instagram not IRL, don’t be dramatic!!).