I don’t know what is more frightening.

The thought that 2017 isn’t actually “next year” anymore, but rather we are living in it right now and all of those things we promised to do “next year” we now have to do this year and probably should have been doing for the past 9 days.

Or the thought that tomorrow is Monday and the time has come to face the music.

If you are anything like me and the thought of checking your emails/ answering business calls/engaging in serious conversations/channeling those adult-vibes tomorrow induces severe anxiety, only made worse by that sunburn on your back that just.won’t.chill. I hope this list helps.

Good luck, girl gang.

Stock up on top drawer treasures.

You’re not going to survive the next five days if you don’t have a drawer at your desk filled with a first-week-back-emergency-kit of the following: Cute, new, stationary including highlighters, Post-It notes and an unnecessarily beautiful 2017 diary to satisfy your inner Elle-Woods-Law-School-Edition, as well as lots of snacks. My picks are Serious Popcorn snack bags (the Coconut & Vanilla flavour gives me life), Tom & Luke Snackaballs, Salt & Pepper nuts from the pick-n-mix at the supermarket, and miso soup sachets (totally underrated).

Use the aforementioned Post-It notes to write motivational quotes to stick on your computer screen.

How about, “Only 6 hours to go until you can go home and cry!”, “Only 50 weeks until Christmas!”, or “If Hillary Clinton can survive 2016 then you can survive your first week back at work, drama queen.”.

Make a list of all the new Netflix documentaries and television series you want to watch this week. 

The U.S’s latest season of The Bachelor, starring puppy-eyed-former-Bachelorette-reject Nick Viall, looks ah-maz-ing. During the first episode one contestant arrives in a shark costume (because she cannot be tamed and loves dolphins but apparently doesn’t love them enough to wear a dolphin costume so IDK), and another contestant makes some joke about not wearing any underwear and it’s all a bit hectic.

Be realistic with your health expectations.

Let’s be honest, you’re not going to achieve your new year’s resolution to start practicing yoga, learn how to make kombucha, join a gym and do a three-day cleanse, all before 5pm Friday. So be kind to yourself and instead consider preparing three healthy lunches tonight to see you through Monday-Wednesday and then buy your lunch on the remaining two days to stay sane. Additionally, you could walk to work on the days you buy your lunch and drive/bus to work on the days you take that healthy salad that tastes reasonably edible but not as edible as tempura prawn sushi amiright?

Online browse this week, but save the purchasing for next week. 

Give your bank account five days to breathe after a summer of excess across all fronts (how much Frosé is too much Frosé?).

Plan your Friday night now. 

You need something tangible to look forward to over the next five miserable days so plan the specifics for Friday night: the friends you’re going to see, the cocktail you want to drink, the dress you’re going to wear and the colleague you’re going to b*tch about.

Plan your work week.

Don’t make yourself anxious by attempting to map out an entire year’s worth of goals, deadlines and targets. Instead focus on something you want to achieve within the next five days. It might be scheduling that meeting you’ve been avoiding, closing a deal before Friday or organising a business lunch with a potential new client because you’re hungry.

Start listening to podcasts on your commute to work.

 In particular, Women Of The Hour with Lena Dunham, Here’s The Thing with Alec Baldwin and The New York Time’s Modern Love. You will thank me later.

Look on the bright side!

You have officially survived your family holiday filled with never-ending questions from relatives about what you’re doing with your life, why you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and whether you have a boyfriend yet. Speaking of annoying relatives, 2016 is also over and it’s much younger, more endearing and painfully optimistic cousin, 2017, is finally here!

Header image by Holly Burgess for The Twenties Club