WHAT IT’S REALLY LIKE TO DATE AS A MILLENNIAL
Love, sex and relationships are a little complicated in our twenties, and I happen to think it is a lot more complicated for millennial twenty-something’s than it was in our parent’s day.
So I asked you guys to share with me some snippets from your experience of the dating game thus far: the good, the bad and the ugly.
To everyone who emailed me – THANK YOU! You made me laugh, you made me cringe and you reminded me that none of us are facing this shit show alone.
“There is a paranoia that comes from being so hyper-connected to each other. I’m so used to instant gratification now that if he doesn’t text me back immediately I automatically think the worst – that he has lost interest. When the reality is that he just had a hectic day at work, or lost his phone charger, or was eating…”
“Social media has really fucked us up. Everyones ‘best selves’ are projected on Facebook and Instagram, and we feel like we can’t compete with such high levels of perfection so we sort of subconsciously take our selves out of the game because we fear rejection.”
“It’s frustrating because the boys that I like either have girlfriends or are so gorgeous and amazing that there is no way I could get them anyway. And then the guys that actually do show interest in me are creepy and weird and I’m like offended that they think we are on the same level as human beings…”
“Flirting is easier. ‘Liking’ a photo, swiping right, adding someone on Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat. You can play it off as nothing if you’re scared they don’t feel the same way and sort of protect your emotions more than if you were to go up to a girl you think is hot and then get rejected.”
“We are forced to always be Miss Chill with guys, because to admit to emotion, attraction, fear or desire would be to risk everything. As soon as you admit to any of it, you are completely vulnerable. It’s so ironic because one of the core fundamentals of being human is our need to love and be loved, so when we force ourselves to be Miss Chill all the time we are literally going against our natural instincts.”
“I’m just confused. I thought this decade would be the best sex, the happiest relationships and the hottest guys of my life. Where are they hiding? Did they all leave town at the same time? Is there a club I should know about? I’m serious.”
“I’ve decided I’m only going to date older men from now on. The guys that are my age still make their mothers do their laundry and eat KFC like four times a week and have competitions with each other over who can grow the longest beard. And they burp in public. I can’t do it anymore.”
“Mental health issues are far more common among gay millennials because there is a culture of placing importance on aesthetics and appearance, and a lot of guys don’t feel they look good enough.”
“Tinder took over my life for a while. I was going on date after date but I wasn’t looking for sex so that weeded out most of the guys. I was successful in the end though and have been with my boyfriend, who I met on there, for a year and a half.”
“Dating for gay guys has become ‘Let’s assume we’re not anything until we’ve explicitly said that we’re something.’ Until then it’s a free-for-all, and there are no rules – you can date whoever you want. There is no sense of loyalty or commitment. It’s a jungle out there. If the guy I’m seeing is going to date and fuck other people and give into their primal tendencies, then I’m going to have to beat them to the punch so that it takes away the sting of emotional betrayal when I find out he’s got with someone.”
“Snapchat is hands down the best flirting. You can put a cute filter on to make yourself look ten times hotter, or use an ugly filter to make yourself seem chill and self-deprecating… If I’m out with a friend and she keeps sending Snapchats to a guy, I know she wants to bone him.”
“I am so jealous of my parents. When they were our age it was so simple: you meet a guy and if he liked you he would ask for your number, then he would physically call you, ask you on a date, and from that moment onwards almost all of your interactions would be face-to-face. Nothing would get lost in translation with texting or social media. There was no one else to compete with. No girls with hotter DP’s or Instagram feeds of unattainable bikini bodies, or girls sliding into his DM’s or girls on Snapchat with puppy face filters. When my mum was in her twenties if someone asked for her number, they liked her. End of story.”
“Guy’s Facebook pages are so annoying because they NEVER update them! Can you please upload a photo that isn’t from 2009 when you had your first beer so I can show my friends how hot you are?!”
“My girlfriends and I all complain constantly about not having boyfriends and yet whenever we go to bars or clubs we only talk to each other and basically stand in a circle facing inwards…”
“I once met a guy on Tinder and we organised to meet up for a drink and when I arrived at the bar I literally couldn’t find him because the photo was clearly taken about six years ago. Either that or he stood me up. Oh my god I sound like such a loser.”
“I love flirting on Snapchat! Like, here’s a cute photo of me as a dog! Here’s a cute photo of me with a Coachella flower crown! Here’s a cute photo of me as a deer!! I’m a 6 in real life and a solid 8 on Snapchat.”